locked out of heaven campaion piece
by Lemin V. Thawens
Summary: this is a companion piece for locked out of heaven.


This is a companion piece to the locked out of heaven Rin Sesshoumaru fanifc I wrote I tried to make a song fic compnion piece but nothing I thought of seemed good to me but the idea for this one just came to me and I liked it so I thought It was worth me typing.

Its like 4 in the morning and I need to go to the library tomorrow I mean later today which is the 18 of june. Yes that is when I am first starting this. I was trying to go to sleep but all of a sudden this came to me. And I've been trying to think of another one shot so I can work on my writing any ways. Though I wasn't expecting to be working on it a 4 in the morning the son comes up lit like an hour in a half.

As always I do not own the characters of inuyasha.

Anyways on to the story before I forget it... this is suppose to be what Rin had written for Sesshoumaru one there wedding day. I have actually started writing a different Sesshoumaru Rin story right now but Its not a one shot and I'm not far enough into it to decide whether or not I'm going to continue it. I have a lot of stories that are Sesshoumaru and Rin that are partially done. I end up losing inspiration or I change shit so much that I get irritated when I have to go back and change more shit so it goes together. Or I had to read it so many times I lost interest in them

_something Sesshoumaru has said._

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Your silly_ "I've watched you for so long"._ It could never be as long as I've watched you. Long before you even knew of my existence I was watching you. The trips your family went on me and my family was also there. The big balls your family and some of the other families threw that you were forced to attend. I was also there and at a bunch of other things but my existence to you a girl you had once help was nothing more then a flying bug passing by you

I watched at 8 and I think you where 10 when we went to the Bahamas and you first learned to surf I wanted to go out and tell you how cool you looked but for some reason even at that age I felt so tongue tied and nervous about the thought of even going up to you.

At 9 when you finally had your first piano concert. I was there I cried it was beautiful a song filled with such emotions that even a child could feel it even if I didn't really understand what about the song made me want to cry for you.

At 10 when you first started hanging out with Kagura. I cried then also.

At 12 when she first started going with us on our 'Family trips.' And she pretty much danced circles around you while you acted as if you didn't notice her.

At 14 the very first black tie party I had to attend. I really wanted you to ask me but really a 16 year old boy asking a 14 year old to a party in my dreams. To this day I don't know if you asked Kagura but I remember her being all over you.

At 15 when we went to Florida. we where in the orange grove and you had climbed the trees to hide from Kagura though you had said "_Don't think I'm hidin__g f__rom her or anything but if a girl like that ask if you have seen me say no" _You didn't even look at me as you spoke. You probably don't even remember but you had said to me _"This place its smell its calming"_ I looked all over the place for an orange blossom body wash that wasn't made with bad products because of your sensitive nose. I thought it was nice that my favorite color was your favorite scent. what was the harm in changing products.

I remember when you finally did look at me. And what I mean by that is that you didn't look at me with that distant unreachable not truly seeing look that you gave so often back then. You saw me. even now when I think about that look I blush.

I waited one year you didn't come back

Two years you didn't come back

I had finally started thinking that you where no longer going to come back. I thought that it was time I gave up. Coming to a point in an unrequited love that you feel like I started to wonder is this really what love is this pain. Watching you with Kagura I could see that see was just as far from you as I was. I thought about how painful that must have felt for her.

But you came back, with her. something in her eyes seemed as if she was almost broken, Thats when I decided it would be best that I give you up.

I tired to give up on you really I did but when it came time to decide on what school I wanted to go to I just had to try one last time at least give it a fair shot.

I was excited to start the school I was optimistic on our relationship too I had heard from Inuyasha that Kagura was no longer around you so I just knew that this was my chance

When I got to school my hopes was smashed you with girl after girl and a lot of months you would have a different girl every day. Thats why I had you tested before we got married.

It was my sophomore year I just couldn't take it any more. I knew then that I needed to leave japan leave you behind and move on with my life. I decided very quickly that I would go to America. I applied at quite a few school but when I was accepted to Harvard how was I going to turn them down. I could eminence myself in my studying and forget you forget the pain that this love has caused.

When you had asked me for a ride 3 days before I was to leave for America I thought it was fate giving me a chance. I thought "this will be my only chance to at least touch him I at least want my first love to have my first time I want to show him with my body how much I truly love him.

I'm not sure why I even told you I was leaving for America. I figured to you I was noting more then another notch in your belt. You didn't have any reaction anyways.

I waited at the airport the last minute I had to take the flight waiting for you hoping that you would come. Inuyasha was even there to see me off. You didn't even come to say goodbye one last time.

I think I cried the whole trip to America.

I had finally started getting used to life in America I had finally stopped crying over you. Every part of my being was so sure that I was nothing you. That those looks I misinterpreted it. I never forgot you or my feelings in that time.

When I opened the door to my apartment and you where there I didn't believe it. I was sure my mind was playing a nasty trick on me. Even now I cannot believe believe that I'm here Standing next to you.

But then even if it is a nasty trick or if this is all a dream I hope I never wake.

I remember when you told me you thought love caused nothing but pain. I believe in order to get that one that you are truly meant to be with you must go through some trail. After all if you have happiness without pain you won't truly treasure that happiness. So from this day on I will continue to treasure every sun rise and sun set, every kiss and every touch, every word and every breath, every smirk (because _a smirk and a smile are two different things) and every beautiful rare smile. _

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Ok it is now 604 I'm tired as hell and need to wake up in 2 hour guess I will be taking a shower.

Ok Im done editing it its not as good as I thought it was sleep deprived at 600 in the morning kind of upset I spent most of the day walking around in a sleep deprived state for this story

Anyways In hope you like it. Please review


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